Conversation with Characitures

Episode 04: War

Myself: Sorry for the absence last week, but Episode 3 was deemed too controversial for its Religious based discussion, and a lot of swearing, A LOT of swearing. But we’re back this week talking about War, and what it’s good for. And if anyone makes that obvious joke, I will hit you.

{Snickering}

M: I mean it!

{clearing throat}

M: Now, as always we have our very argumentative team of Conservative and Liberal. Now, since we went with Conservative last week, and that didn’t air, it’s only fair he gets a chance to lead off this time.

Liberal: How’s that fair? We agreed him, me, him, me.

Conservative: Can you stop whining.

M: Both of you. I’m in charge, so shut it, this will go smoothly this time. Now, Conservative.

C: Well, as we know War is the first option. It shows might, determination. It places our giant military before the other’s and shows them just how big we are.

{snickering}

L: By military do you mean [expletive deleted].

M: Hey now, we agreed last time not to do that.

L: But, how can I not? It’s just sitting there. Like a giant [expletive deleted] and [expletive deleted].

M: Now you’re just being gratuitous.

L: It’s called free speech.

M: That only protects against the government. Since I’m not the government I can censor your [expletive deleted] all I like.

L: There, you just did it!

M: I’m the host, I can do as I [expletive deleted] well please.

L: Whatever.

M: You’ve been strangely quite Conservative.

{snoring}

M: And that’s why...

{silence}

{clearing throat}

M: Fine, you’re turn.

L: War is abhorrent. Should never happen. Never has it ever been justified. You can’t name me once where fighting was the only solution.

C: Dubya Dubya Two Commie.

M: Do you wake up just to argue?

L: Please, that’s a stock response.

C: It is not. There was no other way to stop Hitler and save those lives. That is if you’re one of those who thinks he was really killing all those people.

M: That is a strange 180 for the sake of a bad stereo type.

C: Hey, don’t question my methods!

M: Whatever. It’s not my [expletive deleted] who’s being stereo typed.

C: And of course the Civil war. The only way for the south to have ever made their own country was to fight against that pinko commie Lincoln.

L: The south lost.

C: So those commie text books say so, but I know better.

M: Can you stop saying commie. It’s embarrassing. Anyway, that’s all the time we have, come again next time.